In western civilization, the male, from day one, is taught to be 'tough'. To stand his own ground...To poise himself with his chest out...To defend himself and his loved ones of any danger...To never back down from ANYTHING...unless that anything is love. WAIT, huh??
You see, in our modern society, love is perceived as a gentle and/or soft emotion. And while it is an emotion that is more kind than cruel, somewhere down the line that kindness was mistaken for weakness. This is an ideology that has destroyed a huge part of our society, especially for urban cultures. Follow me...
It's pretty much become taboo for us to show love to one another, whether it be friends, your significant other, and even your children. For a male to show love to his fellow male friend, he must justify his actions with the term 'no homo.' In fear, that one will perceive him as homosexual if a certain action is taken, or a certain something is said. When a man expresses his feelings of love to his female counterpart, what do we coin that man as? A SIMP! A father teaches his son toughness, and therefore, often omits certain elements of what i consider to be PROPER FATHERHOOD. Elements such as hugging and/or kissing his son, telling him that he loves him, and sitting down with the son to talk and have father-son bonding time. All of these things are left out in the father-son relationship due to the father's fear of raising a soft child. I've only hugged my father once in my whole life, which was a few years ago, and i remember how awkward the moment was. It was very uncomfortable. He never once in his life told me that he loved me, nor did he ever take the time to sit down and talk to me.
If you've never realized it, lack of love causes insecurity. Think about it...in the black community, the sad reality of things is that, our biggest role models in life are the stars we see on television. Some of us know more about the lives of stars than we do about the lives of our own FATHERS. The fact that we suffer from the lack of love insecurity, we happen to fill that void in our lives with our next biggest cultural influences, which are the people we see on television. That's a sad ass reality. If you've noticed, alot of us young black men are the same exact person. We are so afraid to be ourselves, that we adopt a personality from an idol...Lil Wayne perhaps? Imma type this next part in all caps to make sure you hear me...ECSTACY PILLS ARE A MIXTURE OF DRUGS SUCH AS HEROIN, COCAINE, AND OTHER HARMFUL AGENTS! TEN OR FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, THE AVERAGE YOUNG ADULT WOULD NEVER DARE TO HARM THEMSELVES OF THESE CHEMICALS! NOWADAYS, HOWEVER, HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WHO'VE TAKEN ECSTACY? AND WHY??? BECAUSE ITS COOL! WHY IS IT COOL? BECAUSE LIL WAYNE PUT IT IN A SONG! ARE WE THAT WEAK? WE CAN TAKE DRUGS THAT ARE KNOWN TO PUT HOLES IN OUR BRAINS BECAUSE OF SOME RAPPER WHO TOLD US TO?! That's scary. Problems like these in society are an OBVIOUS result of insecurity. Insecurity caused by a lack of love...a lack of love from a REAL role model...a father. Those that have great fathers in their lives don't feel the need to adopt a personality from the tube, because it was given to them at home, formed by love in the household. This same guy can enjoy the entertainment he sees on television and other media outlets without it taking over his soul. Men not wanting to settle down with one woman is also signs of insecurity. We simply FEAR monogamy. That fear has been once again covered up with the "cool" disguise. It's COOL for a young man to have slept with many many women. He's coined as a player, pimp, or whatever. That is the very insecure man. He's missing love somewhere in his life, be it from a mother, father, or both, so he feels the need to FEEL NEEDED by many women to supplement that missing space in his life. Conquering women is his cry for love....and the bad thing about that is, that guy doesn't even realize that that is his problem.
The daughters of society suffer from this same lack of care and love. These are the 'hoes' and 'sluts' that are among us, in most cases at least. Had they had the love of a man, their fathers, then they wouldn't feel the need to sleep around with a plethora of men to try to receive that same feeling. They would already know that they're loved because it's been told to them since birth. However, women have these issues far less than men, because it is easier for the father to openly express love to his daughter rather than his son because his son is a fellow male.
Everyone is sitting around wondering why conditions are worsening as time progresses...its so obvious if you're willing to reach the core of the issue. Think about this....Thirty, forty years ago, our "celebrities" celebrated love and unity. We had musicians like Marvin Gaye, Al Greene, and Earth Wind and Fire, who's music were based on LOVE. We had television shows like 'The Good Times' that showed a black family together and loved each other. We lived by those ideals back then. Love and unity. As time progressed, our media outlets became more secular and worldly, and the "cool" personality took over, which refuted those pure ideals that we once lived by. To be "cool" all of a sudden became the most important thing to us. And to not be "cool" made you a social leper, which is considered to be the worst thing in modern society. So here we are in 2010. An urban culture guided by the drug, fame, and sex-addicted celebrity. For conditions to turn around for us, all we need to do is restore that four letter word that we so often run from...LOVE. But the sad part about it all is that it may be too late.
" Some say that hate is such a strong word...but is it really? The weakest of people can easily claim hate, but it takes true strength to say, 'I Love You'" -Me
To conclude, we have a very backward mindset, which is why instead of progressing and uplifting as a culture and society, it seems like we are headed toward destruction. We need to love ourselves, each other, and our children. Love solves all...believe me.