So, i pretty much spill alotta myself here on this blog of mine, but i really wanted to do somethin different and a little more personal. Below are 5 parts of a conversation that me and moms had earlier today...unedited and unscripted. This is just an example of one of the many great conversations we have daily. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. This video not only shows you the types of conversations that we have, but it also reveals the nature of our relationship, which i think is pretty dope. After today, my blog has officially taken a big fat shit (with corn) on yours. Check it out..
Monday, November 30, 2009
This is a conversation me and my dad had earlier today about women, marriage, and relationships. He didn't know i was recording him lol.
Oh and the picture above is of me and one of my exes. Idk...seemed fitting..
Download: A Convo Between Me and My Dad
Saturday, November 28, 2009
"And it feels as though I've seen your face a thousand times.."
I was fortunate enough to catch a viewing of 'This Is It' on its debut night in the theatre. I had heard this song before, but i didn't realize how epic it was until i heard it during the movie's credits. Just listen to these lyrics....the chord progression is amazing. The fact that there is no studio version of this song makes it even more special.
Download: Michael Jackson - This Is It
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Globes, Mt. Rubidoux, Jones Soda (cream flavor), red Vans, these one pair of grey pants i have, blogs, comfortable seats, 7-11, old soul vinyl, GQ magazines, Urban Outfitters, BBM, Amy Winehouse's 'Frank' album, 1965 red Mustangs, headphones, vanilla scented Glade candles, conversations about Top 5's, anything striped, Huntington Beach, the color purple, snicker doodle cookies, songs with deep bass lines, the Lakers, horchata, MacBook Pros, TAKIS, Jay-Z concerts, Sedona brand socks from Target, chicks that speak Spanish, the smell of gasoline, Gushers, my Atlanta Braves hat, goonin up, dope photography, Oriental flavored Top Ramen, the bridge on the song 'Frontin' at the 2:14 mark (and once again at 3:10), 'American Psycho', seeing those lines on my carpet after i vacuum, GREEN APPLE NOW-AND-LATERS, Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon' album, Jergens original scented lotion, my room's sound system, watching people skate at the skate park, hot chocolate, black Ray-Ban glasses, 24 Hour Fitness, sunsets at the beach, and original black and white chucks.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
There's been much discussion on whether time machines actually exist. Some believe that top secret branches of the government have these devices that can allow one to travel back into time. Well, if you need confirmation on whether time traveling machines are fact, then i'm here to tell you that they're very much real, and i know this because i...*looks left and right suspiciously* i have one. (mumbles in a very discreet voice)
Alrite alrite ALRITE, shit! So maybe i really don't have one...but music is about the closest thing we have to an actual time machine. I believe that music is capable of triggering the strongest feelings of nostalgia...nobody in my family understands the love i have for music. My brother always says 'Music don't mean shit to me, all it is, is sounds comin out the speakers!' I CRINGE AT THAT REMARK! How could somebody say that with a straight face? Music has the power to take you back into time...whenever i wanna travel back to the best years of my life, i have this 90's R&B playlist that i have on my iTunes that i dive into. It's something about 90's R&B songs that really hit home with me...however, this can work with any type of music. Music, for me, marks the time for certain eras. I can hear a song or a certain album, and i'll remember EXACTLY what i was doin, who i was with, and the frame of mind i was in at the time when i first heard it. I'm pretty sure these same feelings are triggered within YOU as well, whether you've taken the time to purposely travel back to those days, or maybe you heard a song on the radio that briefly took your soul down memory lane.
Nostalgic feelings are so strong, so clear, and so vivid, that a simple song can amazingly bring out the kid in you. Or an ex that you still love...or fun and exciting times of your life that you so dearly miss. So don't be afraid to try this exercise...find a quiet space, compile a list of tunes that you love from different eras throughout your life, grab a pair of headphones, close your eyes, and let your mind take you back into time as you let your heart fill with those memories of the past. Who said time machines don't exist? They lied to you. Call 'em out on that.
-The Time Machine
Monday, November 23, 2009
#AintNothinLike when you first start talkin 2 somebody and they send u a text that makes you smile, and havin somebody say 'the fuck you smilin for?'
And for people that have had this happen to you, i'm more than sure you're smiling to yourself rite now, as this reminds you of the time it happened...GO AHEAD AND SMILE! Its not a crime you know..
Saturday, November 21, 2009
When i was about 15, i used to stare so closely at myself in the mirror to try to find that one tiny microscopic strand of facial hair...i figured that chin hair would officially declare me a MAN. I would tape a piece of white paper to my face so the tiny bit of brown hair would stand out. Well, i'm 20 years old now, and i couldn't get rid of all this facial hair if i wanted to. (Maybe for about a day or so lol) But it's crazy to know that i now literally look so deeply into my reflection to try to find this little guy you see in the picture above. Physically, we're constantly changing due to progression in age and time. But appearance is just external and time is just a bunch of numbers. The only thing that stayed the same thus far and will always be, are the things that are most important. The eyes. They serve as my windows to the outer world and are everyone else's windows into my soul. So whether i stand here as the newly wise 20 year old man, the troublesome 15 year old teen, or the curious 5 year old boy, i am, and will always be my soul. I'll never change..
RANDOM FACT: Did you know that your eyes are the same size from the time you're born 'til the time you die? Hmm..ain't that interesting..
Download: Jay-Z - Never Change
Thursday, November 19, 2009
How big is your world? Sure we all live on the same round Earth, but how big is your WORLD? World and Earth carry two separate meanings. Honestly, it saddens me when i think about how most people live in a very, very VERY small world.
Most people's lives consist of doing the same things in repetition, even though they don't realize it. They shut themselves off to new ideas, concepts, people, places, etc. because it's not a part of their 'normal' routine or way of thinking. In America, we tend to have to fit into certain molds according to our label. Those molds tell us what to do, when to do it, how to dress, who to hang with, what music to listen to, EVERYTHING. Don't you ever wonder what else is out there for you to enjoy besides the things you know best? You know what phrase i REALLY hate? The phrase 'Who does that?!'. Think about that for a minute....how often do you hear people ask that question? I HEAR IT ALL THE TIME! And frankly, that's the question of a follower! What you mean 'Who does that?!' I DO IT!
My world first began to expand when my older cousin Tandra came to live with us for a couple years. She was the first 'revolutionary thinker' i had ever known. While living with us, i noticed she was a bit different, strange is what i called it at the time. She listened to EVERY kinda music, whether it was The Commodores or U2. I remember one day, askin her why she listened to that kinda stuff, exclaiming 'US BLACK FOLKS DON'T LISTEN TO THAT!'. She was never one to get offended though, she just laughed and calmly but confidently said, 'If you listened to some of this stuff, i bet you would like it..'. I thought to myself 'Yea rite..' as any young and dumb 10 year old fifth grader would. This was around the time the Red Hot Chili Peppers' album Californication came out and i remember coming home from school one day playing Sonic on Dreamcast and she had the album playing. That was when i first heard the song 'Californication'. Before then, i thought all Rock was just outta control screaming, loud electric guitars and crazy drums. I noticed that the song had a cool rhythmic vibe and the distinct vocals of lead singer Anthony Keidis hooked me. In no time, i had the song fully memorized.
We listened to all sorts of music...we cleaned up listening to Santana, sung old Earth Wind and Fire songs around the house, and conversed about Hip-Hop on the regular. Mind you, I WAS ONLY 10 YEARS OLD! She was never the type of person to talk down because of my age...she treated me as an equal and was my best friend during her stay with us. Her opening my ears to different genres of music led me to trust her into guiding me into other things as well. We sometimes went to those HUGE libraries in LA where i had the opportunity to take an interest in any subject of my choosing. She got me into the whole government conspiracy deal and i've been interested ever since. We often had abstract conversations about a wide range of topics....ghosts, afterlife, heaven, hell, just about anything you can think of. She even took me to Mexico, where i got to see how people of other ethnicities interacted (we're all the same, by the way..). Her husband is Hispanic and they took me in as one of their own on that trip. Not once did i feel any kinda ethnic tension and since then, I've grown a genuine love for every single one of those people. I'd have to say that she is fully responsible for my abstract way of viewing life. Something as simple as new types of music can take you down avenues in your mind that you never knew existed. New thoughts create new paths in life for you to travel, and inevitably, new places and new people.
All it took was a few efforts at suggesting new ideas and an open mind to expand my world to what it is now. I couldn't thank my cousin Tandra enough, however, i do want her to realize and understand the effect she's had on my life. So Tandra, if you one day read this, just know that you've helped to expand my world and now i feel as if life is limitless. The Earth we live in is a place for all of its inhabitants to share, but the World...well, the World is Yours.
Today was my first time drawing since my senior year of high school ('07). Truth be told, i never even liked drawing until i took that class. Hell, i didn't even KNOW i could draw until i took that class! The teacher was dope, but i used to never go...it was first period and we all know how that Senioritis kicks in.The man in this picture's name is Tito, and he's from Columbia. I'm a little rusty so....yea..
Monday, November 16, 2009
I have this thing for sunsets as you may have noticed...to me, they're symbolic of peace...they provoke thought....this picture is a picture i took of a place that i like to go to called Mt. Rubidoux. I go there about three times a week to watch the sunset and it really is an amazing site to see. I don't understand how people don't take more time to appreciate and soak in life's natural beauty. But hey, if it's not your thing...
In relationships, many women often times find themselves receiving the short end of the stick. They end up as the victims of the proverbial emotional monster that chews them up and spits them out. But for every problem, lies a solution. Walk with me..
See....women and men are two very different species. Let me explain.
Male - The Hunter
The male is a hunter by nature, and it's been this way since the beginning of recorded history. Mother nature has equipped us with an intuition that is based around principles of logic. We intuitively feel the need to be the chasers in relationships, which is why in the classic model situation of a man and woman meeting, it is the man, more often than not, that is the one to introduce himself rather than the opposite. We are even physically built as gatherers, for we have larger frames, rougher skin, and physically stronger than our counterparts. We're often viewed by women as assholes, cold-hearted, and just plain stupid. However, that is hardly the case. Since we are guided by logic, it limits our ability to understand the emotion-driven female.
Female - The Nurturer
The female is a nurturer by nature. Mother nature has equipped them with an intuition that is based around the principles of emotion. They intuitively feel the need to openly express their feelings, physically and emotionally, as it is a part of their abilities to nurture. They cry at the end of movies, tend to feel less hesitated to hug and kiss, and are even physically built to be care-takers. For example, they have the ability to breast feed, as well as natural incubation of the embryo for the 9 month period after conception. They are often viewed by men as bitches, crazy, and over-dramatic. However, that is hardly the case. Since they are guided by emotion, it limits their ability to understand the logic-driven male.
Ok, so now that THAT'S out the way, let's talk about women and men as we relate to one another. Since women have no problem with OPENLY expressing feelings, they tend to do so when dealing with a man in the infatuation stage of them two getting to know each other. Many women wonder why it may be so difficult to read us men in that exact same stage. But it is not that those feelings aren't reciprocated, it's just that we don't express ourselves in the same manner. Many females become so attached in this infatuation stage, that they begin to feel as if they NEED their male counterparts in order to maintain balance and stability within their own lives. This in fact creates INSTABILITY in the two's relationship. Once a man sees that the woman NEEDS him, he either A. Withdraws from that situation, or B. Exploits and takes advantage of those feelings, which is wrong.
Because men are the natural hunters, we crave the chase, whether consciously or subconsciously. However, once the woman projects clear and obvious signs of neediness, the man, in a way, feels as if the chase is over, and therefore feels the need to either move on, or control the situation he's in. The woman who is conscious of this concept KNOWS to refrain from completely wearing her heart on her sleeve, and therefore lures the man into chasing her, rather than her inversely chasing him. This is the way the man prefers things, and he is then forced into a position where he is WILLING to project feelings of affection, which many men find to be a brand new concept. And now, that MAN begins to fall in...dare i say...love. Women are the natural dictators of relationships, although they may not realize it. The STRONG man has a desire to be wanted, not NEEDED. Once he sees that he is needed, he then can control the relationship, which is an unhealthy approach.
This same concept can be seen throughout all animal nature. Looking at dogs, the female dog often attacks the male dog to show him her dominance. This doesn't mean that the female dog is not attrcted to the male. It's actually a sign of attraction, and keeps the male longing for more. Humans actually do the same thing, we just don't realize it. When a little girl is attracted to a little boy, how does she react? She, many times, hits him or is mean or aggressive towards him. It's simple animal nature. Realize it, and understand it.
The most attractive thing about a woman to me is when she wants but doesn't need me. Female independence is one of the sexiest characteristics a woman can possess. Women, leave room in our minds to play around and wonder. This is the key to us longing for more. Trust...
Friday, November 13, 2009
Never wait 'til its too late to tell somebody that you truly appreciate them. If you feel weird about these types of things, you don't have to do it face to face, a simple text or email can do the trick. It'll make you feel good and them feel great. I've been doing this for the past year, and i really believe that it's helped me to become a better person, friend, brother and son. Early this morning i got a phone call from a family member saying that my dad had been in a horrible car accident that nearly killed him. You never know when the last time you'll ever see a loved one will be, so definitely make an effort to tell them how much you appreciate them being in your life. Better now than never...you know?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I tell this story to all my friends so why not share it with you? Lol... There was this one girl i once knew who changed my life forever and i don't even think she knows it. As a matter of fact, i KNOW she doesn't know it, and she may never know...but that's the beauty of it..
When i was in the 8th grade, i played on this recreational basketball team and we had our practices at the local high school. As practice was coming to an end, i stood on the sideline, both hands on my knees, bent over and tired from running suicides. I looked back, then quickly forward again because what i had seen, i wasnt't quite sure if i believed it. The girl that i saw standing there was perfection. Her skin was brown, her hair was long and her figure was slim....she had on a red shirt and basketball shorts and still managed to somehow literally stun me. As soon as i gained my consciousness back, i walked over to a friend of mine named Joe and said 'AYE MAN, DID YOU SEE THAT ONE GIRL WIT THE RED SHIRT AND LONG HAIR STANDIN OVER THERE A MINUTE AGO?' He said 'Yea, that's ________ she stay in my apartments..' I thought God himself had personally set this situation up, as it had seemed PERFECT. Not to mention, i was always posted at Joe's house anyway...he asked me if i wanted him to put in the word for me and i hastily said 'HELL YEA!'
To fast forward, high school came around and here i am, this freshman kid with this larger-than-life crush on a sophomore girl. What was i to do? I knew i had to make some kinda move, i mean c'mon, this is BIG BAD HIGH SCHOOL we're talkin about! By this time, she had already knew who i was and we exchanged a few words, being that my best friend and her lived in the same apartment complex. Anyway...one day...it was a Saturday, and i know this because i'll never ever forget this day of my life...my brother and his girlfriend (now wife) picked me up from Joe's house. I had of course already told my brother about this girl because i needed some sorta advice as to what to do. But on this Saturday...he somehow came up with the foolish idea of me knocking on her door and giving her a rose. I quickly shut that idea down! Never in a million years would i have ever thought to do that....but infatuation can make you do some crazy things...after about an hour of pacing back and forth, and overbearing pressure from my brother, his girlfriend AND Joe, i decided to go ahead and just do it...that's how bad i wanted her. At that point, nothing mattered, as long as i knew at the end of the day, i would be on her mind.
The nervous me, laced up my Jordan 11's, took a deep breath, and walked towards her door. I knocked three 3 times, stood back and looked towards my brother's truck where they all sat in there and looked on, as they seemed nervous for me themselves. I lightly knocked again and there she was, she answered the door. Being the bashful and shy person she was, she looked surprised to see that it was me that showed up to her front door. I handed her the rose and said...and i dont even know why i'm tellin yall this lol...i said "I just wanted to give you this to let you know that i've been thinkin about you." She said 'awwww, thanks!' I was so nervous and i tried to get outta there as soon as i could! So i just said 'Yea...well, umm, my brother is waiting for me so i gotta go..'. She simply and sweetly said 'bye' while looking at the rose in her hand, and i hurried up and walked back to my brother's car...
So that was that and i finally began to make 'progress' with this girl. I was proud of myself for doin what i had done, but i knew i had to follow up with something else. I eventually ended up settin up a date to go to the movies and she agreed to it. My brother, who was equally excited as i was about everything, took me to Macy's and bought me a brand new Rocawear outfit to wear to the movies that Friday. So now that i looked the part, i had to know what to say. And back then, i wasn't a FRACTION of the person i am now....i had no clue at all what to say to this beautiful and seemingly unattainable girl. Our first date didn't go so well because the whole time i was thinking to myself 'I hope I'm doing alrite..'. Not to mention i had NO CLUE about women or how to talk to them...
After that awkward movie date, we didn't talk much for the remainder of that school year...towards the end of my sophomore year we started to be cool again and i had the golden opportunity to make something happen. I never was successful in my attempt though...i was always tryna think of the 'perfect' thing to do, or the 'perfect' thing to say to a girl that i looked at as perfect. I tried to adjust myself to be what i thought she would like. That was where i failed. I was young and didn't know myself to be the person i am today. It took me having to go through that to learn that being yourself is all that you'll ever need in life. Applying what i learned about women to the rest of my life has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. I took what i learned from the situation with Her and i ran with it. Nobody can be you better than YOU can, and people can always tell when you're not being true. So to that one girl whom i crushed on so hard, i want you to know that the lesson i learned from you was a lesson that changed my life and has helped shape the person i am now. Thank you.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
So i've been workin on this project called A Beautiful Mind for like...pretty much 2 years now. It's a piece of work that i'm putting together that's composed beats i've made since the beginning of my music making career. It's all instrumental but it's purpose is to tell a story. How do you tell a story with no words? Emotion. It's to take you on an emotional trip inside one's beautiful mind and project the color of life. This is my Detox so to speak, being that i've been working on it for so long. It plays out like a movie, and this song would be the song playing during movie's credits. Don't know if this is going to make the final cut, but....yea.
Download: HipHopSince1989 - After Everything
AHHHH!!!! So, for any of you following me on Twitter, you've seen that i've been looking oh so hard for this Busta Rhymes Anarchy album. And there's a reason why...
The summer of 2000 marked my transition from 5th to 6th grade. I signed up for this NASA space summer school program that was held at the local university (which was pretty interesting by the way). But anyway....during lunch time, we were specifically told over and over again not to go into any of the shops to buy stuff. I didn't care though...there was this dope ass record store on the university's campus, and since i didn't have any friends to hang out with at lunch, i used to always sneak in there and browse around at all the different cds. This was around the time the Busta Rhymes single "Get Out" came out, and i remember seeing the video and hearing the song for the first time. I swear to God...the beat to that song was the most amazing piece of music i had ever heard in my life at that moment. See...this was before the days of the internet and Limewire, so i couldn't just download and hear that song whenever i wanted. I either had to wait til the video came on, or buy the album when it came out. I remember the exact date it was released....June 20th, 2000. The next day at summer school, which was June 21st coincidentally, i once again, snuck in that record store to see if they had it, sure enough, it was right there. That price tag was STEEP, it had cost $18.99. PLUS TAX!
My mom was only giving me $3 dollars a day for lunch, so what else was i to do? I knew i had to save up $3 dollars a day for about 7 days....which meant i couldn't eat lunch for that long. And at summer school for some reason, i had always gotten EXTRA HUNGRY because of all the variety of food they had there...Subway, Pizza Hut, etc. But anyway...after those 7 days i finally managed to save up enough money to get that CD. All day, i had been sitting in class, humming that song i had heard and impatiently waiting for lunch time to come around so i could go buy it. When that time finally came, i halfway ran to that record store. After recklessly tearing away the plastic wrapping, i went and found a remote quiet area of the campus, sat down on a bench, and popped that joint rite into my walkman. And the rest is pretty much history....a classic album.
That whole experience is what made me instantly fall in love with that cd, and i've been searching endlessly to find it. When i do, i know it'll take me back to that exact bench i sat in on the campus of Cal State Dominguez Hills when i first heard it. Those are the moments in life that i lust to resurrect...those good times..
This was one of my favorite songs on that album, produced by the late great J.Dilla.
Friday, November 6, 2009
So i got my hands on a copy of Wale's debut album Attention Deficit a few days before its official retail release. I'm proud of myself because this is the first album i've waited to buy before downloading the leak in a while lol. Anyway, let's get to it...
The album opens up with the song "Triumph", and might i say, the song gives off that exact vibe. The triumphant sounding horns and drums of producer Dave Sitek is a nice way to introduce Wale. Lines like "I asked Mr.West for a little bit of help, realized us new niggas gotta get it ourself" provide an instant impact. The album continues with yet another big sounding track "Mama Told Me" produced by up-and-coming producer Best Kept Secret. The distinctive, hard-hitting drum pattern of BKS and Wale's witty wordplay make this song a winner. The hypnotic hook on "Pretty Girls" sung by Weensey of Backyard Band is sure to be stuck in your head after the first listen. The song also, surprisingly, features Gucci Mane, which will definitely give it radio spins and hit-appeal. The Pharrell-assisted "Let It Loose",however is shockingly one of the albums weak points, as it sounds as if the beat may be one of The Neptunes' throwaway tracks. "Beautiful Bliss" features a scene-stealing verse from Roc Nation signee J.Cole, while songs like "Shades" offer an introspective story of him growing up with dark skin in the midst of the light-skin/dark-skin struggle between us African Americans. He even sneaks in his signature D.C. go-go sound on the track "TV in the Radio" which sounds a bit unorthodox, but may grow on you after the third or fourth listen. The album ends with the jazzy, flute-occupied "Prescription", which gives Attention Deficit a nice finishing touch as he spits bars about him being the doctoral prescription to what hip-hop needs.
Attention Deficit definitely flows well from beginning to end, offering hip-hop a much needed fresh new sound.
- "World Tour" (feat. Jazmine Sullivan)
- "Let It Loose" (feat. Pharrell)
- "Mirrors" (feat. Bun B)
OVERALL GRADE: 90% A-
Ever since i was about 6 years old, all i've ever wanted to do was create music. I remember my first time ever realizing it...it was in the 8th grade when i first heard The Neptunes' album The Neptunes Presents....The Clones. That album came with a 30-minute DVD documentary that showed Pharrell and Chad talking about how they first started and had footage of them in the studio and everything....i remember being so fascinated by it, that i would watch it about 3 or 4 times in a row. The first time i had heard that album, i told myself, 'One day imma make a beat..'. I didn't know when or how, i just knew that i would one day do it. I've always considered myself a connoisseur of music so i knew it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. For some reason, i had this strange obsession with this guitar solo at the beginning of one of my favorite oldies songs 'It's A Shame' by The Spinners. I thought to myself 'Man...if i can somehow put that element into a song, it would be dope!' I used to tell my mom and my brother that i was gonna one day be a producer....they laughed of course but it was a commitment that i was dead serious about in my mind. When i reached my senior year in high school, i found out about a demo version of a beat-creating program that i could download called Fruity Loops. I sat there all day and all nite trying to figure out how to create music on that thing. Sure enough, i used that Spinners sample that i loved so much for my first beat....
From that very day on, my love for music composition has grown into what it is today. I never stopped making beats, and now, for me to create music for the local artists that i looked up to is really a dream come true. To go from being such fans of their music, to actually personally knowing and working with them is an experience that humbles me. For those people whom i admired to now consider me family, is something that i wouldn't trade for the world. I still have a TON to learn, but this journey has proven to me that life is limitless. I may have physically started my music career in 2006, but in my mind and in my heart, i've been Hip Hop Since 1989.
I really wanna give a HUGE thank you to the people who take the time out of day to visit me here. And I'm not just sayin that...i really can't explain the feeling i get when somebody tells me that something i wrote moved them. That's the kind of love that keeps me motivated to keep doing this. I really put a considerable amount of thought into the things i post on here, so for you to appreciate it means the world. Blogging gives me more joy than perhaps anything. Once again, thank you.