Saturday, September 12, 2009

Relationships...Where Beggars CAN Be Choosers!

I'm always catchin flack from my friends because they say i'm too picky when it comes to women...but whoever said bein picky was a bad thing? I recommend the picky method to everybody. In fact, if people were more selective in who they chose to be with, the divorce rate would be significantly lower. Anyways...relationships. They're everybody's favorite topic of discussion so i figure i'd take a crack at it...

I'm 20 almost 21 years old, so my perspective on how to choose a woman is a bit different. (And for the women reading this post, dont worry, this is not a post on men choosing women) Back when i was about 17, 18, 19, i would honestly choose the girls i would talk to mainly on how well they could hold a conversation, their sense of humor, and physical appearance. But now that i'm older, i plan and prioritize things in my life according to how i want my future to turn out. At my age, the next woman i seriously date, after a few years, will most likely be the woman that i marry. So here are a few, but not all, things to consider for us young adults when choosing that special someone who you could potentially live out your years with:

1. Brains
Like i said before, sense of humor, conversation skills, and physical appearance are great, but when it comes to taking that huge step from dating to a serious relationship, you have to be a bit more wise in your choosing. Serious relationships lead to marriage, and marriage leads to children. (Don't ever think its too early to plan for the future.) Studies actually show that brains are hereditary, so make sure that the person you choose to be with is intelligent. That goes a loooong way. If you're here reading this post, then i assume that you are quite knowledgable yourself, so two intelligent parents will undoubtedly birth intelligent children and will lead to a strong intelligent family, in an ideal sense.

2. Family Life
I can't stress this enough! People that come from extremely broken homes usually carry alotta baggage. Not good. Good people, more often than not, come from a decent home. Ladies, look at how a guy treats his mother. If he has ultimate love and respect for her, then more than likely he shall do the same for you. My advice for the guys, bring her around your family. Its a test, one that takes observation. Maybe do this on a day when there's a weekend get together at your house. See how she interacts with your family, your mother most importantly. Perhaps leave the two of them alone to talk and form THEIR relationship, as that relationship is the second most important to the one that you share with her. This is also an opportunity to test her comfort with YOU. The family test is a good way to gauge where the two of you are in the relationship, and can perhaps take you to that next level. Oh, and the family tests works for both guys and girls.

3. Look For What You Lack!
This is another very very important one! We may not wanna admit it, but as humans, we have flaws in our characters. BUT, something CAN be done about it, which is the great thing about relationships. In a good healthy relationship, you grow together. Meaning you will adopt some of their ways, as they will pick up some of yours. That is why it is important for you to choose someone that can offer something that you can't. It will make the both of you stronger people, and will indeed create a strong couple. If you're kinda lazy, and some of yall are, get somebody that isn't so couch-potato-ish. If you dont have a dominant personality, DONT try to find someone with that same characteristic! Two uncertain people can and will lead to disaster! If you have a dominant personality, you may have to find somebody who is maybe a LITTLE less dominant as you are, but not weak. Two dominant personalities often clash, and that can ALSO lead to disaster, ive seen it happen before my own eyes.

The above are just a few things one should consider upon entering a serious relationship. It's not everything, but its the essentials. The purpose of this post was to get you to learn more about your partner before jumping into a relationship head first. Know thy partner, LOVE thy partner. Oh.....and NEVER TRUST A BIG BUTT AND A SMILE! lol

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